The red land crab is a curious contradiction of part armoured warrior, part comedic crustacean.
It’s found in the San Blas Islands (also known as Kuna Yala or Guna Yala) – a breathtaking stretch of paradise across 160km of Panama’s northern coast. The crab’s body, encased in a hard, segmented shell, ranges in colour from pinks and earthy reds to peachy deep browns. Beady, stalked eyes swivel with mischievous intelligence, and its many-jointed legs splay outwards, propelling it sideways in a rapid-fire staccato scuttle.
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There is little grace in a crab’s movement, but there is undeniable efficiency. It darts, hesitates, then charges like a tiny gladiator. When startled, it freezes for a split-second before retreating into a burrow or crevice, as if the earth has swallowed it whole. Crabs are an enigma – and no more so than on these isles.
I had come to Kuna Yala to research a travel guide. I was staying on Uaguitupo, a ring-shaped coral island offering a handful of simple cabins. I was one of just six guests, alongside two Japanese travellers from Osaka and a family of three from the gleaming high-rises of Panama City. My rustic wooden abode, complete with woven palm-thatch walls, had a sand floor, a toilet, a cold-water shower pipe and bucket, and a small sink. The bed was covered in the trademark textile of the Kuna people: a reverse appliqué embroidery of layered cotton in bold, bright hues.
It was November, and a relentless heat pressed down. The night offered some relief, cooled by hours of drumming rain. Yet by dawn the humidity would rise again. One evening, the sky deepened into twilight, turning a dusky lavender splashed with cobalt and indigo. Stars appeared like silver pinpricks before the full moon took command, emitting an island-wide pearlescent sheen.
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Back in my cabin, getting ready for bed, I felt Kuna Yala stir. I peered through the gaps in the cabin’s saloon-style doors to see a carpet of crabs, enlivened, I assumed, by the lunar phase. Like wind-up toys, they scuttled rapidly in manic synchronisation, their tiny legs scratching at the earth right outside my bedroom. Thud. The sound disrupted the rhythm.
Thud, again, and another, like a battering ram. My cabin was under siege.
A colossal crab the size of a car tyre was pushing against my door. Nobody knows why one in about 500 of Kuna Yala’s many land crabs grow to such monstrous proportions, but here was the proof. Its dark carapace gleamed in the moonlight as it waved its menacing pincers. With a final shove, my ‘guest’ crashed through the doors. It barrelled inside and ricocheted off the walls, disrupting the furniture.
Crash. Smash. Slam. The powerhouse crustacean sent my backpack skidding across the floor. My hiking boots caught on its claws and it clattered across the room, toppling a bucket. It rocked from side to side, on tip-toe, adopting an aggressive stance that made it appear even larger. In a final gesture, it lunged towards me, ramming the bed as I leapt on top of it. There was a tough-guy click of claws and the smaller crabs, which had followed their leader in, froze to the spot. Together, we stared, transfixed by the absurd spectacle.
Then, as suddenly as it had arrived, the giant crab turned to make its exit, giving my luggage another final shunt for good measure. The swinging doors snapped sharply against their hinges, rattling in its wake. The crab vanished into the night – until the next full moon.
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